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firstname: Wan Mohd Fahimi
lastname:
fullname: Fahimi
nickname: Wan Mohd Fahimi
email: fahimi.hamad@gmail.com
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Honey & Lil' Danish

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Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Bad Traffic

Lately I realized that the traffic would get really bad everytime I go and come back from work. At least, not like it used to be a few months back. To reach the office at 8.30am, I used to leave my house at 8.00am or 8.05am, speed thru the LDP and take the Tmn Bahagia path to 222 and I'll be at my office in no time. But NOW, for crying out loud, if I leave at the same time, I would reach the office at 8.50am, no matter how hard I push the accelerator and how many you-don't-wanna-know swearings would come out of my mouth! The traffic at Persiaran Surian and in front of Pelangi Damansara's alone would crawl like nobody's bussiness; taking about half of that time, leaving me furious and overheated in my car although the newly fixed aircond is blowing and freezing everything in the car to its max. Is it just me or is the traffic getting really bad? Or perhaps, I might have to be patient a bit and go with the flow?

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The more I look at it the more I realized that I would be better off if Honey & Danish are in the car with me. At least, that would help a lot during the long crawl or even when there's a bad traffic caused by the typical-malaysian-driver-attitude-when-they-see-an-accident crawl! Going through the crawl with a little talk-about-nothing with my wife plus teasing little Danish in the car won't feel so bad. And so I thought...

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This is what it would look like on the road when it rains and the traffic would get really bad.

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And this is what it would look like in my car, when the traffic outside gets really bad! Haha,...

Posted by Wan Mohd Fahimi @ 5:03 PM

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Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Gambar Budak Nakal!

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Yeah, I got my hp fixed already and I can get all those pictures coming in again and paste them in my blog. At least, that would do it if I don't have any idea on what to write! Danish has been growing so fast. He has just turned 7-months last Sunday! Can you believe that? And everyday he's starting to show the typical-naughty boy's character and stuffs... I mean, in a good way that is. It doesn't seem like he sleeps much anymore. and even when he does, he'll be like this hyper-active rolly-polly. His little butt ends up sticking up in the air as he rolls around the bed. Yeah, he wants to crawl so badly. Not 100% there yet but who cares when he's there! It's coming.... soon.

He protests too, like when you take her teat away from him (i.e. to wash it). Last night, when i came home, he was peacefully having a bottle with Opah but when he saw me, he started giggling. I left the room so I wouldn't distract him from eating, but then, more protesting. It actually felt kind of good, knowing that now he knows when I'm around. Everyday when he's in his walker, he would vroom to mummy and daddy and try to grab hold of mummy's kain, or daddy's sarung! He got more proficient at scooting himself around, and had started a new babble sound ("pa-pa-pa!"), and he just got, well, more grown-up.

It is so nice to finally get him back in my arms each time I come back from the office - and when I did, I could have sworn that he've grown! Not having my useful hp camera around is like missing his stages of development. It's not that it makes any different seeing him growing up in real life right in front of our eyes, but maybe Honey and I got so used to taking photos of him every week and when we were unable to do so, we just felt lost. And all this while, I must say that my wife has been doing a great job growing my child. Thanks sayang!

Maybe it was the exhaustion and how much I wanted to see him during my working hours, but I figured something out. There are no firsts. there's no way to define the "first time" Danish did something, because he's really just constantly progressing. I mean, even the "first time" he rolled over, it could have been a fluke - I could have been making the mattress lean in one direction, I mean, it did take him another half a month to roll over again. So, there aren't really any milestones for me to miss out while I was at work. It may even be a blessing in disguise because being away from him makes you see *all* of the changes he's going through. and a healthy dose of self-preservation-induced-logic.

My mum is coming tomorrow to see her one and only grandson! And I will be on leave on Friday which gives me a 4 days long Maulidur Rasul break to spend with my family. Hope you all with have a nice break to rest those lazy asses oso! Haha... Till later ya?

Now, that's what I call blogging!

Posted by Wan Mohd Fahimi @ 1:26 PM

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005
In the delivery room... To be, or not to be...

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"It is getting tight in here. I used to be able to somersault, but for the last few weeks I've been curled up tight, knees up to my chin with my head down, wedged in a circle of bone. I can hear muffled sounds. Sofe light filters through mum's belly."

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"I have been feeling gentle tightenings around me for some time, and now they are increasing. I am being squeezed gently downwards, towards an expanding circle-this must be the way out. The space closes up behind me. I can't move. MY oxygen supply cord is stretching and the supply is getting weaker. Suddently there is a pop and the lovely watery world I have been wallowing in starts to flow away. MY head slips down further and rhythmic contractions intensify."

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"The circle is widening. Every muscle pushes forcefully downwards. It stops for a few moments then starts again. My head is squeezed through the opening and down a narrow passage. There is a sudden rush, and a release of pressure: and now my head is out. A moment later my whole body is out in the wide world. Hands lift me up and I am dazzled by bright lights and sharp noises. A cold wind rushes over me. I open my mouth and the air fills my lungs. A scream comes out of me. I have arrived."

How was that? That may likely be the description on how a baby may feel about birth, I guess. Might ask Danish how was his experience when he starts to speak soon! Coz I couldn't recall mine! Haha... By the way this entry is for the reading pleasure of Kuc and GG who are expecting their child come June. Suprised to see your pic here guys? haha... Well, moga semuanya selamat, Insya Allah.

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To be, or not to be ...in the delivery room, is the question for today's fathers. In the old days (i.e. the 1960s), there was no such delivery room issue for men, whose sole purpose in the birthing process was to smoke and pace nervously in the hospital waiting room. But all that began to change during a strange and frightening time (i.e. the 1970s) when Paul Anka released the song "You're Having My Baby." Since that seminal moment, men have appeared with increasing frequency in delivery rooms. And today, while fathers are not officially mandated to be in delivery rooms, they generally are expected by wives and mothers-in-law to "choose" to witness their children's births. Scary eh?!

As more and more men make this choice, the father's role in the delivery room is a matter that requires clarification. During the past 6 months, I have chosen to be in the delivery when my wife gave birth to our beloved son, Danish Haiqal. Beyond staying out of everyone else's way, I discerned nothing in particular that a man in a delivery room is expected to do. I did, however, discover several things that he absolutely should not do. Hopefully, my experiences can provide some guidance to other fathers who choose to enter the delivery room.

Delivery Room DON'Ts

You may have heard that a man can help in the delivery room by holding a hand or massaging a foot or whispering words of encouragement into an ear. This may very well be true, but DO NOT DO THESE THINGS TO THE DOCTOR. Based on my experience, the doctor will initially respond to such efforts with a wide-eyed look of surprise, immediately followed by a more ambiguous look of either gratitude or disgust, followed by the command, "Sir! Could you please shut the **ck up, move away and sit in the chair! I'm trying to save your baby here for god sake!!!"

As you sit in the chair, absolutely do not eat beef jerky and garlic flavored chips. Apparently, a woman's senses of smell and hearing are heightened while giving birth. Consequently, both the odors and noises coming from your mouth can be somewhat off-putting to her. (On a side note, my wife has assured me that the jerky-and-chip-eating man should not take it personally when the woman points a finger at him and yells, "Get that crap out of here!")

If you are still in the delivery room at this point, you will see the doctor check how far dilated the woman's cervix is. Men, this is not the time to tell a joke. Specifically, as the doctor prepares to check, do not tell your wife, "Say 'aaahhh.'" It's true that in many contexts this is an amusing comment, but, alas,... this is not one of them! In fact, the use of this comment in this situation will subject you to the withering glares of your wife, her mother and hospital personnel. You will then be consumed by an overwhelming shame for even having thought such a horrid thing.

At this point, you may try to avoid confronting your shame by watching the television in the labor and delivery room. But this is critical: Once the woman is in active labor, do not turn on the TV. Even after her labor is over (i.e. the baby is actually born), you should suppress your urge to see what's on TV. And if the doctor is holding your newborn and asks you to cut the umbilical cord, it is particularly unacceptable to tell him to hold on a minute while you check to see if the Champions League quarter-finals clashes between Chelsea and Bayern Munich is being shown again on ESPN!

Finally, do not attempt to be the World's Funniest Man by making what you think are amusing comments about medical matters involving the baby. For instance, if your baby boy is yellow and has to be taken to lie under those anti-yellowing lights in the nursery, do not say to your wife, "Maybe we should call him Elton Jaundice." (In the case of a baby girl, do not suggest naming her Olivia Newton Jaundice.)

Of course, you won't have to worry about all the things not to do in the delivery room if you decide to stay in the waiting room until the baby is born. Ultimately, to be or not to be in the delivery room is a decision that each father must make for himself. And the only way to make it is to determine whether it is nobler in the mind-numbing waiting room to suffer the slings and arrows of an outraged wife and mother-in-law, or to take arms against a sea of delivery room troubles, and by entering probably offend them anyway!

The very best of luck!

Posted by Wan Mohd Fahimi @ 1:18 PM

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Thursday, April 07, 2005
Embarrassing Moments

Hey guys. This is a very touching story. Just can't help but put this in my entry here. Read on....

The Board Meeting had come to an end. Bob started to stand up and jostled the table, spilling his coffee over his notes. "How embarrassing. I am getting so clumsy in my old age." Everyone had a good laugh, and soon we were all telling stories of our most embarrassing moments. It came around to Frank who sat quietly listening to the others.

Someone said, "Come on, Frank. Tell us your most embarrassing moment."

Frank laughed and began to tell us of his childhood. "I grew up in San Pedro. My Dad was a fisherman, and he loved the sea. He had his own boat, but it was hard making a living on the sea. He worked hard and would stay out until he caught enough to feed the family. Not just enough for our family, but also for his Mom and Dad and the other kids that were still at home."

He looked at us and said, "I wish you could have met my Dad. He was a big man, and he was strong from pulling the nets and fighting the seas for his catch. When you got close to him, he smelled like the ocean. He would wear his old canvas, foul-weather coat and his bibbed overalls. His rain hat would be pulled down over his brow. No matter how much my Mother washed them, they would still smell of the sea and of fish."

Frank's voice dropped a bit. "When the weather was bad he would drive me to school. He had this old truck that he used in his fishing business. That truck was older than he was. It would wheeze and rattle down the road. You could hear it coming for blocks. As he would drive toward the school, I would shrink down into the seat hoping to disappear. Half the time, he would slam to a stop and the old truck would belch a cloud of smoke. He would pull right up in front, and it seemed like everybody would be standing around and watching. Then he would lean over and give me a big kiss on the cheek and tell me to be a good boy. It was so embarrassing for me. Here, I was twelve years old, and my Dad would lean over and kiss me goodbye!"

He paused and then went on, "I remember the day I decided I was too old for a goodbye kiss. When we got to the school and came to a stop, he had his usual big smile. He started to lean toward me, but I put my hand up and said, ''No, Dad''. It was the first time I had ever talked to him that way, and he had this surprised look on his face." I said, "Dad, I'm too old for a goodbye kiss. I'm too old for any kind of kiss."

"My Dad looked at me for the longest time, and his eyes started to tear up. I had never seen him cry. He turned and looked out the windshield."

"You're right," he said. "You are a big boy....a man. I won't kiss you anymore."

Frank got a funny look on his face, and the tears began to well up in his eyes, as he spoke. "It wasn't long after that when my Dad went to sea and never came back. It was a day when most of the fleet stayed in, but not Dad. He had a big family to feed. They found his boat adrift with its nets half in and half out. He must have gotten into a gale and was trying to save the nets and the floats."

I looked at Frank and saw that tears were running down his cheeks. Frank spoke again. "Guys, you don't know what I would give to have my Dad give me just one more kiss on the cheek... to feel his rough old face... to smell the ocean on him... to feel his arm around my neck. I wish I had been a man then. If I had been a man, I would never have told my Dad I was too old for a goodbye kiss."

I don't know about the rest of the guys, but I wanted more than anything to put my arms around my Dad let him know just how special he was to me.

It is so easy to forget to tell people how important they are to us, especially our parents. If you are lucky enough to still have your dad around, then go and see him. Tell him how much you love and appreciate him. And if you can, put your arms around him, give him kiss on the cheek, and let him know that he is the most important man in your life.

Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us. Oh be swift to love, make haste to be kind.

And hey, life is short. As a matter of fact, you're never too old for anything!

Posted by Wan Mohd Fahimi @ 1:11 PM

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