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firstname: Wan Mohd Fahimi
lastname:
fullname: Fahimi
nickname: Wan Mohd Fahimi
email: fahimi.hamad@gmail.com
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Tuesday, August 31, 2004
It's Our National Day!

It's Merdeka people! A month where all Malaysians celebrate our National day. A historic day where 47 years a go we declared our independence and freedom. Today, we still stand proud as an independent nation.

I wish people (including me!) have more sense about Merdeka rather than just another plain, meaningless public holiday! And hey,... there's free concert man for god sake!!! Apart from the concert and countdown, there's nothing. Sad eh? Selamat Hari Kemerdekaan yg Ke-47 Malaysia!

Posted by Wan Mohd Fahimi @ 9:25 AM

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Saturday, August 28, 2004
Congratulations Abang Taufik!

A big congratulation to my brother in law, Abg Taufik for his convocation last saturday kat Dewan Budiman, UiTM ( Dewan Annexxe? Poyo la UiTM tak bukak dewan cermin tu untuk family! Panas beb, panas!!! ). Semangat tak semangat, my dear Honey yang tengah sarat2 pon boleh turun gak ke UiTM for the proud and memorable occassion. Like all convocations, there were glittering faces of parents, brothers, sisters and families with bouquet of flowers in their hands waiting patiently under the cruel heat. To see all those proud faces in every parents sitting there is like a prayer that every son/daughter could ever ask for. Like what I saw in my father and mother in law's faces on that fine day.

Tahniah skali lagi kepada Abg Taufik dan terima kasih banyak2 la for the yummy nasi ayam sempena kenduri doa selamat house warming party (finally!). All the best in your future undertakings. May god be with you always, Insya Allah.

Posted by Wan Mohd Fahimi @ 9:31 AM

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Thursday, August 26, 2004
Final Destination 4!!!

Damn, looks like angle of 'death' has its own pattern of taking 'lives' at cybron! First Syikin, then Yan. After that was Zul and now, Thariq! Could there really be a design? Does 'death' really have a pattern planned out for everyone? And if so, after cheating 'death' once, can you find a way to do it again? When will it make its 5th move?!!! Will it gonna be me next?!!! Cik Lina? I'm freakin out!...

-----Original Message-----
From: Priscilla Cheok
Sent: Thursday, 26 August, 2004 8:01 AM
To: CTMPJ; ctmnorth@cybron.com.my
Subject: Staff resignation

Please be informed that today is Mr.Thariq's last working day. On behalf of the Management, we would like to thank Thariq for his services and contributions during his employment with the company. We wish him all the best in his future endeavours.

-----Original Message-----
From: Thariq Husni
Sent: Wednesday, 25 August, 2004 3:19 PM
To: CTMPJ
Subject: Re: Thank you my fellow cybronian

Dear all,

Tomorrow afternoon will be my last day in Cybron Technology (M) Sdn. Bhd. I feel so happy to work with all of you, my fellow cybronian and give me opportunity to learn from all of you. I wish all of you the best your future undertaking and apologize from me if I did anything wrong during my time in Cybron. Anything, please keep in touch at 012-3159123, TQ.

Enough for the crap. Looks like I'm the last survivor here together with Cik Lina. Too bad. But hey, that's life eh? By the way, all the best man! Knowing you, I know you're gonna succeed in whatever you do. Tengok lu punye AFB10 tu pon smua orang tahu lu boleh beb! Selamat!!!

Posted by Wan Mohd Fahimi @ 4:54 PM

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Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Soooo many aspirations, only one lifetime to live

Man, I'm tired today. Yet another night in which I didn't get a lot of sleep. My own fault... I was exhausted yesterday, worked through lunch, and then went home in the normal LDP traffic jam and didn't go to bed right after supper. After dinner, me & Honey watched Unfaithful ( starring Richard Gere and Diane Lane. Was quite an outstanding movie actually... ) on HBO till 2 o'clock in the morning and instead of going to bed right after that, we spent the night talking about our future, our family and so and so forth. Bedtime stories you can say...

There are days that make me realize that I need to live for about 500 years to accomplish all the things I want to do with my life. How does one have a life in which they can be a successful engineer, programmer, managing director, politician, sports announcer, DJ, and a F1 driver? I haven't been able to figure this out yet... and that's not even including the things that I'd like to do but don't think I could (yes...I honestly believe I could do any of the things in that list) - like an EPL Striker or a doctor.

Well, it's just not fair if you ask me. When you're growing up your parents tell you all the time that you can be whatever you want when you grow up. But what they DON'T tell you is that you have to actually decide on only one or maybe two things - three at the oustide.

"Yeah, you can be Prime Minister when you grow up...but that means that you'll have to get into the political system at around age 25 and work your butt there for at least 10 to 15 years, which means you can kiss your aspirations of being a famous sports announcer by day and computer programmer by night goodbye... especially since you can't be a sports announcer these days unless you played a sport, and with your voice lessons and debate classes you'll have no time for that."

I feel like I've been gypped. So many aspirations, only one lifetime to live... unless my lofty goal of scientist works out somehow and I come up with a formula to stop the aging process!

Posted by Wan Mohd Fahimi @ 5:30 PM

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Sunday, August 22, 2004
Weekend Comes, Weekend Goes!

Ahhh... relaxation. It's something I've needed for a long, long time,... and I think that the past 3 days have finally afforded me that chance. It's disappointing to be back at work when you feel that you haven't got enough rest for yourself, but at the same time, I'm not feeling like I was cheated out of time because I was so damn busy. I feel rested (although tired, hard to switch back to getting up at 6 am), and I haven't felt like this after a weekend in a long time. Maybe my long outstation trip plus my granpa's lost had effect my daily life cycle I guess.

Boy, is it Saturday yet? 2 day weekends just aren't enough anymore for me. I need longer weekends, with fewer commercial breaks and 25% more tooth whitening power! I just don't feel refreshed on Mondays. Part of it is that my past weekends are typically busy with travelling and stuffs, and the fact that I have a hard time getting back to going to bed by 12 pm on Sundays doesn't help matters any. I think I'm running on about 4 real hours of sleep today.

Man, what happened to me? In my more youthful days of yore (let's call them 2,3 years ago) I could operate on almost no sleep. I could get up at 6 in the morning, go to work, come home at 6 pm, lepak at the mamak stall with Zaki & the geng at 11, stay up until 2 or 3 am, and then repeat the cycle for five days of the week. And that doesn't include those stay ups I had for all those live telecast champions league matches on ESPN! Now I'm lucky if I can operate fully with anything less than 6 hours of sleep. I mean, I can, but it's nowhere near as easy as it used to be. I knew that I'd get older, I just didn't expect it to hit so fast.

Damn, I'm old!...

p/s : Met our ex-school mate, Azy when me & Honey was in the city today. She's now a lecturer in MMU. Cool huh? All The Best!

Posted by Wan Mohd Fahimi @ 4:58 PM

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Friday, August 20, 2004
Kepong Bridge Is Falling Down

Kepong Bridge is falling down,
Falling down, falling down,
Kepong Bridge is falling down,
My fair Samy,

Take a gag and shut us up,
Shut us up, shut us up,
Take a gag and shut us up,
My fair Samy,

How will we build it up,
Build it up, build it up?
How will we build it up again,
My fair Samy?

Build it up with tax and toll,
Tax and toll, tax and toll,
Build it up with tax and toll,
My fair Samy,

Roads and bridges bend and break,
Bend and break, bend and break,
Roads and bridges bend and break,
My fair Samy,

Blame it on an Act of God,
Act of God, Act of God,
Blame it on an Act of God,
My fair Samy,

Rocks and blames will wash away,
Wash away, wash away,
Rocks and blames will wash away,
My fair Samy

[Parody sing along to "London Bridge Is Falling Down"]

p/s: Bob would surely get more AFUNDIs and win AF2 if he sang this song! Too bad.

KUALA LUMPUR 11 Ogos - Badan Pencegah Rasuah (BPR) sedia menyiasat dan mengambil tindakan undang-undang sekiranya terdapat laporan berlakunya penyelewengan dalam projek pembinaan Lebuh Raya Lingkaran Tengah 2 (MRR2) bagi laluan Kepong, yang ditutup sejak Ahad lalu untuk kerja pembaikan.

Works Minister S Samy Vellu draws a swift response, throwing a dare with a veiled threat. Via Bernama:

"Our office is always open to the ACA, come in and take the relevant files if you want to investigate the MRR II. We have nothing to hide." [...]

"Let the ACA investigate...but until then we will stop work. We will not be opening the road in three months.

"Whoever wants to report, please report to the ACA. Want to report to the police, please go ahead and report to the police. We will not stop anyone," he added.

The Kepong stretch of the MRR2 had to be closed after it was found that 31 out of the 33 beams supporting the elevated road were defective and repair works would cost a whopping RM20 million and take three months to complete.

Damn, looks like I have to take the long way to get to Hospital Selayang for my upcoming baby's birth. (Penchala Link and Jln Kuching, perhaps?) Hope I'll get there in time. And seems there is nobody more qualified in Malaysia than you-know-who himself to make a decision? Are threats allowable, or does it show there are too many skeletons in the cupboard? Hot heads hanging tough? Well, I say good luck to the ACA. I won't hold my breath.

Been in the M&E field during my previous employment with my former company, every M&E engineer should know that there are some brief explanation about the damaged pillars being used as gantry points during the lifting of the piers. As that is so and these were not designed to withstand such stresses, how did the supervising engineers approve such a loading to be imposed on something that was meant to be part of the structure?

Yes, the ACA should be called in to investigate. There is a hint of hanky-panky here that has already caused much inconvenience to the public.

They should also check the delay on why the road was not closed earlier. And if the Minister insists that nothing will be done to repair, he should be suspended while the probe is being carried out.

People who have something to hide will almost always ask others to have a look for themselves.

Reminds me of my schoolboy days when the teacher would catch me redhanded doing something naughty and I would pull out my pockets to show that they were empty and turn over my palms to show that I "really" had nothing to hide.

Funny.

Posted by Wan Mohd Fahimi @ 9:35 AM

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Tuesday, August 17, 2004
Closing Time

I was planning to write something on my late Tok Ayah today in my blog but the thing just couldn't come out my brain. Maybe I still need some time to fit in I guess. Today I also found out that Azkari's AKA Punk's father also had passed away last week. Later did I know that his granpa has actually passed away on the same day as Tok Ayah. Al-Fatihah to both of them.

Hmphhh, you know what? I don't feel like writting today.

Fullstop.

Posted by Wan Mohd Fahimi @ 10:04 AM

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Friday, August 13, 2004
The Call That Tells It All

.......AL-FATIHAH.......

22 Ogos 1929 - 13 Ogos 2004

Tarikh dan waktu Kematian : 13hb Ogos 2004, 10:50 PM

Umur : 74 tahun

Tempat Kematian : Wad 8 Selatan HUSM Kubang Kerian

Sebab Kematian : Acute Coronary Sydrome With Underlying Advance Tongue Cancer

Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas roh Tok Ayah dan menempatkan beliau di kalangan para solihin. Amin.

Posted by Wan Mohd Fahimi @ 10:50 PM

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Thursday, August 12, 2004
Done in KB, off to Kuantan

Ari ni pagi2 hari aku kluar pi settlekan keje kat Pakar Perdana. Walaupon pening2 lalat disebabkan tak cukup tidur semlm, aku pi jugak sebab east coast hari ni half day keje. Lagipon tghari karang aku dah nak bertolak ke Kuantan. Got an important appointment kat sana esok pagi.

Sebelum aku bertolak, aku singgah dulu HUSM jenguk Tok Ayah & Pie kat sana. Aku cakap kat Tok Ayah aku dah nak balik. Dia cakap, "Selawat... ". It was a bit hard to understand what he was saying because the cancer on his tongue had make it hard for him to verbally talk anything. Confused, I asked him back, "Selawat? Selawat gapo Ayoh?". With difficulties finally, I understood what he was going to say. He meant, selawat banyak2 masa drive keter ke Kuantan. Feeling that I need to lift myself up before I leave, I asked, "Nok pecut brapo keto ni ayoh?". Tok Ayah cakap, "Bowok slow jahh... 50-60" . Haaaaa,... aku tergelak. "Bowok 50-60 bilo nok sapa ayoh? Lambat la sapa Kuantan!". He replied shortly, "Takpo la lambat pong, asal slamat". And, that was the last word I heard from him. I could see a small tear filling up his eyes after I grasped and kissed his hands. Gosh, this is tough... 'May god give me strength', I whispered as I stepped to my car and headed to Kuantan.

Posted by Wan Mohd Fahimi @ 11:57 PM

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Wednesday, August 11, 2004
"HUSM Wad 4 Timur, check-in Sir?"

Settled some stuffs today here in KB. Lepas appoinment tadi aku terima SMS dari Maxis. 'You have reached 80% of your credit limit. Please arrange for payment... bla, bla, bla....' Damn! Takleh le tengok orang senang sikit. Ada aje yg mintak duit. When will this rat race is ever gonna end? I wish I was in Thariq shoes right now! The way I see it now, he's the audience in the grand stand, looking at people racing their rat races since he's way out of it! I'm so happy for him. Congrats man!

Malam tadi aku temankan Pie jaga Tok Ayah kat hospital. Pie told me to bring my sweater since the chill would get really, really cold tengah2 malam kat wad tuh. He asked me if he can bring my laptop to the hospital to get rid of the time emptiness while we were there. Malam tu Tok Ayah demam jadi kitorang gilir2 demah dahi Tok Ayah. Kalau korang nak tahu, Tok Ayah dah takleh makan thru mulut dia because of the cancer he was suffering on his tongue. So, the doctor had to feed him with milk thru a tube going thru his nose. Air untuk drip pon dok slalu silih berganti. So, malam tu lepas kitorg salin lampin dia and bagi ubat thru the tube, terus dia tidur. Berdengkur lak tuh! Boleh la kitorg lepak2 jap.

I took a glance at the clock on the wall. It was 3 in the morning. Nampaknya semua patient kat situ dah tidur. Tinggal aku dengan Pie je yg still awake. I took a look around. It aint too good when you are too long in the hospital with the fact that you are in the pink of health. Not being the one hospitalized, you tend to see each and what every patient is suffering. Being me, it can make you feel worse. That's because I'm the type of guy who try to feel what's it like to be in people's shoes. With an attitude like mine, you can either be a good doctor or suck big time at it! Looking at my career now, I guess the second consequences is more like it! I dunno. Can't help being sorry for them but really, being there too long can make you sick. But since I'm doing this in courtesy of my granpa, this is no big deal. It's the least I can do as a grandson. Pie's past 2 weeks life was like 24/7 feeling like what I'm feeling now so, what i'm going thru now wasn't too bad compared to his last 2 weeks. While he was playing DrugLord on the notebook, I was into real deep thinking on what will I name my baby (Seems like a never ending process aite?!). So, I brought out a few scraps and a pen in my hand, jotting down names whenever they seem to appear in my mind. Ada gak sesekali tu tetido tapi bila ada ilham nama baby tu mai, aku tekejut dari tido sambil tulis nama tu atas kertas. Sesekali tu teringat Honey kat umah. Hope she's doing fine down there. Some nurses just passed and smiled looking at me. Mungkin diorang ingat aku tengah mencari ilham untuk tulis lirik lagu cintan kot. Gilo! Yeah, I bet it would be really nice carik ilham kat hospital!...

Alhamdulillah, Tok Ayah tidur nyenyak malam tu. Maybe bacause of the drowsiness as result of the effect from the medication he took or perhaps, he was too tired. Aku lak kul 4 pagi baru dapat tidur. Tu pon banyak kali terkejut biler tetiba tengah2 malam tu bunyik semburan air perfume automatik kat dinding hospital tu menyembur!

Posted by Wan Mohd Fahimi @ 11:21 PM

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Tuesday, August 10, 2004
Bunut Payong - where the grass smells fresher than your 8 to 5 office's socks!

Bangun pagi ari ni aku dengar ayam berkokok! Huishhh, best tul! Haven't felt this good for quite some time already. Bile aku pikir2 balik, aku perasan kalu aku kat umah kat KB nih, smayang subuh memang on the spot je lepas azan. Tapi kalu aku kat umah aku kat Damansara, ya Allah, tuhan je la yang tahu. Subuh gajah, dinasor, godzilla smua kluar! Maybe aku segan kat ayam kot kalu kat KB. Diorg boleh bangun subuh, takkan aku takleh! Heh...

To date, datuk aku still kat HUSM. Dia hospitalized dah dekat 2 minggu dah disebabkan cancer lidah. Adik aku, Fikri ( Pie as I call him) dgn mak aku gilir2 jaga dia kat Wad 4 Timur HUSM tuh. Kadang2 aunty aku SuTee atau Mama Iah kat KL ni balik ke KB jenguk2 dia. Malam karang aku lak pi jaga. Dah alang2 aku ada kat sini, I better make it worth it. Problem dengan datuk aku nih, dia takleh takde orang tepi dia. Kalu takde orang, mula la dia start memanggil. Abeh tekezut patient2 yg ada kat sebelah dia tu. Nurse ngan doktor takyah cakap la. Abeh riuh rendah wad tuh. So, disebabkan tu adik aku terpaksa mintak cuti 2 minggu daripada bos tempat dia keje sebab malam2 tido kat spital. Nasib baek gak la ada adik aku. Kalu tak susah gak dibuatnya. Tak dapat dinafikan memang adik aku ni rapat dengan datuk aku sebab lepas mak aku balik dari UK lps melahirkan dia, nenek dengan datuk aku ni mintak ngan mak & ayah aku nak jaga adik aku yang sorang ni. Mahu tak mahu, tepaksa la mak aku serahkan adik aku kat diorang utk dijaga sementara mak & ayah balik ke UK, dok kat sana selama 4 tahun sblm balik ke Malaysia. Imagine la selama 4 tahun tu betapa sayangnye diorg kat adik aku nih. Isk, sentimental plak. Those where the memories.

Malam tadi aku tido awal giler! Maybe penat pi congress tu tak ilang lagi kot. Anyway, let's see what is installed for me tomorrow! CTRL + ALT + DELETE, ...chow!

Posted by Wan Mohd Fahimi @ 5:56 PM

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Monday, August 09, 2004
APARC2004 - Day3

Finally it's day 3. The day where I finally went to the island. As ussual, the morning was time for the symposium, conference and... you name it. From the people in the hall I could see some sleepy faces as well as some can't-wait-to-go-the-island faces! And that, includes me!

Perhentian Island, here we come! Here's Gilligan on the way...

I just love this photo. If you look closely enough, you can see the WELCOME signboard there. I guess my camera wasn't as good if compared to Mod's one although I was doing full zoom already. But that aint too bad aite?

Beautiful isn't it? For an amateur I guess this shot is aint' too bad eh? You better appreaciate it. I climbed half of one of the mountain for this shot!

CAUGHT RED HANDED! Looks like our dude here is about to zoom on a more beautiful scenary rather than the beautiful mother nature he's on. Haha... Naughty boy!

Wow, look at the white sand! Hello guys, I said the white SAND! I repeat, THE WHITE SAND!!!

One of the cekik darah restaurant they have up here. Can't blame them since it's the island. Hopefully they don't charge extra for the sea view sitting though!

Goodbye Perhentian!

For those who haven't been there yet, tell ya what... this is a 'must-go' island. Like its name, it's waiting for y'all! There was Day 4 of the congress but I choose to go back straight to KB since the trip for the day would be to the Batik Boutiques in KB. Just not my cup of tea. Better go back to my hommie in KB and sleep since I still have like 5 more days to go back and fourth for my outstation duties. I'll update more on that later. Selamat Cuti2 Malaysia!

Posted by Wan Mohd Fahimi @ 4:50 PM

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Sunday, August 08, 2004
APARC2004 - Day2

Wassup y'all. By the time you're reading this I'm at my hometown in KB. So, looks like this couple of days I'll be writing about nothing but me and my congress here. And yeah, if you feel like this whole stuff is boring and wanna surf elsewhere, hey... I'm cool with that. Coz even when I surf other blogs who just go on and on telling stories about themselves, I aint gonna be the one to go and read and read 'em. At some point, it's gonna make me puke! Sometimes you need some general things as well I guess. But hey, big deal... it's your blog, you can write whatever you want in it! No offense. Fair n square. In fact, this is what I'm doing rite now.

Second day at the resort was like conference, conference,

and...

conference!

Was still tired from the 8 hours journey the day before so, I was unable to digest the whole conference thing but hey, I sure did digest the food!

The secretariat gave us 3 options of activities for us to join after each day of conference.
1. Visit to the Perhentian Island
2. Visit to Rantau Panjang - The border of Thailand. (Hey, don't get me wrong mate!)
3. Visit to Kota Bharu

I was hoping that I get to choose option 1 for all my 3 days stay there. But I was later informed that the quota for option one for that particular day was already full. I guess I have to live with option 2 then since option 3 would be too common.

So off we went.

The rest was shopping, shopping ...

and shopping!

I must say, even John enjoyed his visit there!

Dinner, and back to the hotel!
Till tomorrow!!!

Posted by Wan Mohd Fahimi @ 10:32 AM

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Saturday, August 07, 2004
12th Congress Of APARC2004 - Day 1

Looks like I'm among the first to try the new Lebuhraya Pantai Timur without losing any penny for the tols! And yeah, it really take 2-hours drive from KL to Kuantan people! Unbelievable isn't it? That's half time the drive if you're using the old road there. I wonder how long will it take to drive to my hometown back in Kota Bharu when the 2nd phase of the construction starts. Wonder how much will they be charging us on the tols after this one-month tol-free trial as well! Still, Whatever the charge is gonna be, thanx god is not under PLUS or else, it must've cost a bomb!

Arrived in Bukit Keluang Coral View Beach Resort, Terengganu just in time for the welcoming speech and BBQ dinner party. I must say that it doubles the difficulty to get here with the poorly-placed signboards plus if you're travelling at night. I was later informed by the receptionist upon checking-in that the resort has just been opened to public for a week. So, I'm cool with the signboard thing. The resort was not too bad either.

There's the welcoming speech by the APARC President, Elcee Cagas Conner. No Yon, not Sinead O' Connor!

Right after the welcoming speech, it's party time! BBQ man, that's what I'm talking about! There was even a live band to cheer the mouth-watering event! Some performance from cute primary school childrens as well as Mak Yong from the local people. But hey, I wasn't paying too much attention on them since BBQ is in hand! I'm telling you, the food was awesome! Ke aku yang lapor?! Hehe...

Omigosh, I guess I'll leave you with the photos, gotta attend a symposium in a while. I might paste the Day 2 photos when I update my blog tomorrow - A visit to the island! So, stay put guys! Take care!

Till tomorrow, Bubbye!

Posted by Wan Mohd Fahimi @ 4:25 PM

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Wednesday, August 04, 2004
Week 34

Just in case you guys are wondering, that ain't the actual photo of our baby but what it would look like at this stage. Ignore those text though! I'm sure he'll come with good manners, Insya Allah!

Sorry peeps, was quite a long time since I last updated my blog. Was quite busy prepparing stuffs for the 12th APARC Congress as well as my one-week outstation starting this Friday. Today, brought Honey for her monthly pregnancy check up. Believe it or not, it's week 34 already. That's like 8 months and 2 weeks fellas! And most important of all, the baby is now already in the proper birthing position. Thank god that everything is so far so good all this while.

So, let's see our baby's progress this week. The baby reponds as a newborn with its eyes open while awake and closed while sleeping. He or... she (Hey, you'll never know!) is developing immunities to fight mild infection. Those sharp little fingernails are at the ends of the fingertips already, and I might be the one clipping em' during the first few days after birth! Haha... Talk about excitement. Subhanallah...

Honey's gynist told us that everything looks perfect. All the baby's measurements are just right at this stage. The heartbeat was a healthy one and she said that we should start expecting our baby's due at the END OF THIS MONTH! The actual date is September 11th but normally she will advise plus or minus 2 weeks for parents to standby and start buying all those baby's stuffs and just get ready for the big day. She'll be able to pick up the other stuff more accurately during our next visit.

The only thing that the doctor is a little concerned about is the fact that Honey hasn't gained any weight yet after her last visit. She said it's OK for now, but if she continue to gain nothing, she will have to make some suggestions on her diet. The baby needs to develop in this stage and needs food from mummy to help him develop. When we visit her again in two weeks time, she'll check on Honey's weight again and take the next step.

At least our baby is fine! Am I worried about Honey not having gained any weight? Well, look at it this way : Enjoy gaining weight on purpose while can! ;) Besides, Honey was more particular in what she consumed and controlled her diet A LOT esepcially on sugars after the doctor advised her to be more careful on her level of sugar during the last visit. I guess that have effected her diet a lot with no more late nights suppers and stuffs!

And hey, tips for dads. Mom is feeling huge and clumsy now. She may be weepy and vulnerable or extremely moody. Tell her how beautiful she is and what a wonderful mom she'll be. Serve her breakfast in bed and help her feel like the special woman she is. That helps!

Better finish some stuffs here at work before I'm out on Friday. See ya!

Posted by Wan Mohd Fahimi @ 1:11 PM

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Monday, August 02, 2004
Women Are NOT From Venice, Men Are NOT From the Moon

However, some women are from Venus and some men are from Mars. By the same token, some men are from West Venus and some are from East Mars. These men rarely get along with women from Venus or Venice. In fact, these men rarely get along with women at all.

Get a grip! OK, I'll agree a book by a similar name has some interesting and useful ideas. That doesn't keep it from being guilty of gross oversimplification and stereotyping. The author talks about a number of different behavioral patterns men and women (supposedly) have, patterns that we need to understand and accept in order to have successful relationships. Forget it.

People have behavioral patterns. Those patterns are unique for each of us. I agree that some patterns are more common in men or women, but a problem develops when we start to believe all men and all women are the same. Think about it. Think back to your dating years. If all members of the opposite gender really are the same, we only needed to go out with one and we had "done it all."

All of those self-help and relationship books are useful if they help us better understand and appreciate the uniqueness and individuality of the other person. They are destructive if they lead us to believe "all men or women are like that."

I don't know of a woman who doesn't have some of the male or Mars characteristics, and I don't know any men devoid of female or Venus characteristics. Guys can have a need to share their feelings as much as women have an occasional need to hide in their cave!

The biggest risk in grouping an entire sex together and stereotyping that sex is that it makes magic more difficult.

Unfortunately, if we have unintentionally developed the habit of seeing "men" or "women" instead of individuals, we are blinded to the uniqueness and magic we already have. Instead of exploring our spouse's unique character, we simply classify him or her according to the gender stereotypes. There is no need to get to know this person further, we already understand him or her. After all, we read the book! We learned how to stereotype men and women.

Major forget it! Of course, we can get into this habit without reading a single self-help book. The most common way is to compare our special person to the people we used to know (including those of our prior relationships) or even somebody at work.

But our special person is not any of the people we have known. We are piling an attitude collection on him/her.

This attitude collection is something we pile on other people, and it generally gets piled highest on the people who deserve it the least.

The bottom line is simple. Don't view your spouse through glasses colored by gender stereotypes. Look at and listen to your spouse, not as representative of some group of "men" or "women," but as a person. After all, you aren't looking at a stereotype, you are looking at THE person you love.

But remember, everything changes during football season! Men are from Mars or the moon!!! Women are from Venus or Saturn! Often, they collide in the middle!

Posted by Wan Mohd Fahimi @ 10:32 AM

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